Why Genuine Happiness Is Not An Accident

Tripping over your rug… that’s an accident.

Not paying complete attention on the road and lightly rear-ending someone while driving... also an accident.

Being born as a result of two 20 something practical strangers having sex one night... definitely an accident.

Genuine happiness, however, is not an accident. And here’s why.

Becoming genuinely happy requires addressing the very things which make us unhappy.

What are those three things?

1. Your habits

2. Your thoughts and emotions

3. The extent to which you carry your past along with you into the present

For the full conversation about all three of these ingredients to genuine happiness and guidance on how to move forward in incorporating changes into your own life, I invite you to listen to my weekly segment this week in The Happiness Hub (replays of all weekly segments are up!), my virtual community for happiness seekers and happiness-makers of all ages and backgrounds who are learning and practicing the skills and tools of becoming happy from the inside out.

 

The biggest of the three and the one that makes the rest easier? It’s #3– the extent to which you carry your past along with you.

If there is one thing I’ve learned and embodied over the years, it’s that genuine happiness cannot happen without healing. How many times have I thought to myself, “Ugh, why am I doing that thing again that I know sabotages my own happiness?” or “Why do I feel so horrible about myself and worry so much about what I look like when I am trying so hard not to care?” or “Why do I feel so drawn to this type of partner when I know that it’s for my own good in life to be drawn to and partnered with someone who is much more available, loving, and kind?” These are just a few examples of the things I’ve asked in my own search for happiness over the last few decades, and that I know- form working with hundreds of clients over the years- that you ask yourself too.

I asked myself those questions– and you ask yourself those questions– about feeling out of control of your own happiness because you are repeating thoughts and behaviors that don’t enhance your happiness. You do that because of one and only one reason: there is some healing left to do.

We’ve all been through some sh*t and we all repeat the beliefs and patterns that we learned from that sh*t unless we heal and learn to do otherwise.

 

 

It is in deep, inside-out healing that true happiness begins and ends. It does not happen by accident. It happens, first and foremost, by being real about the places where you’ve been hurt in the past, the beliefs and behaviors you adopted in attempts to cope with that less-than-ideal past, and how those thoughts and behaviors are affecting you today. It happens by opening your heart to the mess that may have been your childhood, your young adulthood, your past friendships, relationships, and anything and everything else and by letting who you’ve been mesh with who you’re going. It happens by inviting just small, tiny cracks into the places where you’ve built up strong shields and walls of protection. It happens with self-honesty, self-reflection, and self-discovery, and it happens through support, community, and connection.

Join me in The Happiness Hub LIVE this Thursday or afterwards to catch the replay of this complete conversation. Until then, know that it’s only a matter of time, practice, and healing before genuine happiness becomes a genuine reality for you.